Thursday, April 28, 2011
Trying To Balance
Well it's been about a month since I've last posted and who knows what time I'll have after the baby comes mid May. I am really going to make an effort to try and keep some balance in my life, even with a newborn. I was inspired to look back at a post awhile ago about BALANCE. It has some great tips on how to create a routine to bring balance in your life. It is also a eye opener to what areas maybe affecting you and creating some unsettled feelings.
Since March 13 th, the kids and I have been living at my parents house. This is the house I grew up in, the neighborhood I went to school in, the place we had kids over, the party home, etc. It is also the place my parents have opened to many in the family when they are trying to find their way. There have been a few cousins, aunts, nephews, friends, that have lived here. This is also the place my parents brought my little grandma to stay when she could no longer live alone. She stayed and then went to a care home, then returned to die in a more private setting.
My husband has been on the road since the end of February. He comes and goes for 4 day trips to 20 days, coming home for 4 or 5. It is constantly changing and the transition is often rough. We are fortunate he has a good job and the promotion he got this year has taken some stress off his plate. He has been working extra hard tying to get ahead, so he can take a few weeks around the birth. This will be a treat. The last two births he flew in from Washington and Florida and had to leave a few days after the births. I look forward to having him bond with our baby from the start, not months later. With him gone so much I have developed a survival tool for having to do it all. Now that I am at my parents home, I have more help. It is often hard to ask for specific things, because I am used to doing it. I also don't want to assume they are willing to do anything at anytime. We also have different ways of dealing with the children. Just as a mom and dad do things differently, now we have two other ways. It can be challenging to try and help kids understand the different dynamics of a family. The nice thing about being with my family is the meal time, we eat together every night. My mom usually cooks and my dad cleans up. This has been a life saver on my body and mind, as I approach the due date.
We sold our home and have been looking for a new one to buy. As I get closer to the birth, I realize we will not have a new home before the birth. I have planned a home birth and now have to change my plan from my own private space, to the space of my family's. For the last 6 years, every time I thought about another baby, I imagined a home birth. I have been teaching natural childbirth classes in my home for 9 years. The more I learn about the business side of birth and the intervention cycle that is hard to escape in the hospital, the more drawn I was to a home birth. I had pictured my living room, with a birth tub, candles, music, my husband and kids. Well, I no longer live in that home. My mom has been gracious enough to offer her room for the birth. It is the only space that is somewhat private. We can retreat to the room, have a bathroom and access to the outdoors. Now the challenge is to let go of the vision I had and create a new one. When you have a home birth it feels safer, more private, more comfortable. These are especially true when you make the space represent the energy you need for a calm birth. As with every person, every room has a different feel. What maybe calm for one, may feel overwhelming or cluttered to another. As I approach the time that I will birth I need to feel I have created the best nest I can for this baby. This is such a different time in my life, where I feel it is a blessing to have this baby join our family. I want to have a quiet space with different elements from each direction. The children and I have been out selecting items, such as shells, eggs, birds, chimes, fruit, and candles in different colors. I hope to set up a birth alter to have something to focus on, to draw strength from. If I can do this then I can have balance. The area is a huge factor in how you relax and surrender to the labor. There needs to be a focus on physical, mental and emotional relaxation. These can be achieved, I managed in a hectic hospital setting, because I had many hours to adjust. I got through a fast labor in a birth center. I look forward to a wonderful home birth, with my family supporting us in the way we seem best at the time.
So as you read my adventure, please take time to review your life and ask yourself how can you balance more? Look back at the BALANCE post and try and implement just one area. What are you doing daily for your body? What does the area around you look like? Are you surrounded with things and people you love? Are you being loving to others? What aromas do you use to help create calmness? Are you focused on the now? Are you trying to be present? Do you know how to center in the midst of the storm? Where do you go to take a deep breath and refocus? Are you willing to stop living the same old story and replaying the same old habits in order to embrace the ways to balance that I have presented? If you are feeling weak in any of these areas, it is time, now, with the energy of Spring, to move forward and change. I have faith that if we all try and live a more conscious life we can make this world a more peaceful place to be.